Family fun at our retreat!

Time for an Update

My goodness how the time seems to just fly by, which is good from my perspective. I used to wish that time would stand still for just a few minutes because it was constantly on the go and I had problems trying to keep up with it. Now that I'm here without my sweetheart, I look forward to time moving forward so I can be with him as soon as possible. It's funny how your perspective can change so quickly when your life is turned upside down and everything is different from what you're used to. You do learn to adapt even when you're sure you won't. Father helps you to work through each stage and gives you the coping mechanisms you need to press forward. That is a big lesson I have realized since I lost Ford. Okay, so what have I been up to for the last 7 months? (Yes, it's been 7 months since I last blogged! I should be horse-whipped! Uh, not really though!) Some exciting news is that 2 of my grandsons are preparing to serve missions. They are the sons of my two daughters. Both enter the MTC in September, a week apart. One is going to New York, New York South, speaking Haitian Creole, and the other one is headed to New Mexico, Farmington and will more than likely be serving among the native Americans there. Both will be very interesting and difficult missions, but my grandsons are up to the challenge and will be awesome missionaries! My grandson serving in Georgia is loving it and having some wonderful experiences. From the sound of his emails, his testimony is growing stronger along with his love of the gospel and our Savior, Jesus Christ. He has such a positive attitude about everything, even when things don't go the way they should or he is faced with difficult challenges, he isn't negative about them, but just the opposite. I love that about him. He is setting a good example for me by the way he handles his adversities. I have made several mini trips to see my daughters and their families who live away from me. They have also journeyed here several times to visit me. My oldest son who lived in Twin Falls, has just moved closer and is living in Pleasant View, UT which is about 40 minutes away. That has been wonderful to have his dear family closer now. I have been able to see more of them and I love that! Their baby daughter is growing up so quickly and is so much fun to take care of. I have enjoyed my time spent with her and her brothers--such fun grandkids! My second son(child #4) and his wife had their first baby in March, the 21st. Their sweet little daughter joined our family and has also been a delight! We're thankful to have her here. She is my 16th grandchild and all of them are very special and precious to me! They help me make it through the hard days by just being around me and reminding me how blessed I am to have this incredible family. Her parents adore their little girl, as do the rest of us. The two little guys of my youngest son and his wife are growing and continue to be such happy boys. I love to observe how they look at their little world and are so eager to explore it and figure out new things. Life is very carefree and exciting for them at this stage of their existence and I love that! They are a joy to be around. We just had a family retreat that my second son and his wife spearheaded for all of us. We stayed at a very nice cabin near Jackson Hole, WY and rafted down the Snake River. That was exhilarating to say the least. We all had a fun time and just enjoyed our time together. We've done this since Ford died so we could look forward to bringing the family together at least once a year and reconnect with one another. Each year we have gone someplace different which adds to the adventure of our retreat. Thanksgiving is also a time for most of the family to be together and we look forward to this holiday for that reason. It's a good time to usher in the Christmas season while we are gathered together at my home. I stay busy continuing my work in the temple which I dearly love, babysitting my precious grandchildren every opportunity I get, staying active in church and serving in the Primary Presidency right now, which I am thoroughly enjoying. These children are such a blessing in our lives and I'm so grateful to be surrounded by them. I also enjoy doing fun things with my friends who still rally around me and thoughtfully include me in their plans. My life is full and for now I'm content with where I'm at and what I'm accomplishing. Father has been here to guide and direct me so I wouldn't get lost or confused with what I needed to be doing when Ford was called home. There were definitely days I felt lost, confused, and alone, but as my grief subsided, I felt the presence of Father and of my Savior ever near urging me forward and letting me know I could do this. This experience is part of my earthly test as I maneuver through these uncharted paths on my own, to gain the experience needed to succeed in this life and return home more confident with my abilities to handle difficult situations. This life certainly provides plenty of those situations! I'm happy with who I'm becoming and still have a long way to go to become the person I want and need to be. The important thing is that I'm on the right path and I have many people helping me along the way, both here and on the other side of the veil. I'm grateful for all I'm learning in this process and for the love I receive from family and friends. Life can be crazy and uncertain, but thank heavens for the gospel and family ties that keep me grounded so I can find joy in the journey!

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Happy 2013

I have made it through another year--unbelievable! Time has a way of running off without you and before you know it, another year is behind you. I often ask myself if I used that time wisely and had a productive year as a result of what I did. Honestly, I am guilty of wasting a lot of the precious time we're given to progress and grow. I know I should do better than I have. Hopefully this year I'll buckle down and do things right! I realize a lot of us fall into this same category, not meaning to waste time but it happens. I hope I can accomplish more this year and learn the lessons I need to so I can keep moving forward. There really is so much to learn, both spiritually and temporally. I start my work at the temple again, tomorrow morning, and I'm so excited about that! I had to be put on a 90 day hold because of my health problem--not being able to walk due to an extreme lack of energy. After multiple tests and lots of money spent to figure out what was wrong, I'm still not any closer to finding a diagnosis. That was disheartening, but at least I know what I don't have and I DO know that rest and patience are key anti-dotes to helping me get back on my feet. So I'll have to be content with that and pray it doesn't come back, at least not for a long while. I learned,once more,some valuable lessons this time around,and the number one lesson was to allow Father to be in charge when I've done all I can do. Let Him take the reins and guide me. I found that when I finally gave in and said, "Ok, Thy will be done and I'll be happy with whatever that is," things started falling into place for me and my walking actually improved. I was so grateful for my children who were here to watch over me, help me out, to call people to come check on me, and a daughter who had me come and stay with them for a week because she wanted to help with my situation. It made me realize how much they really do love and care about me. My friends and neighbors were also incredible to bring in meals, stop by to see how I was doing, bring me reading material, and the list goes on. I have the best friends and neighbors on the planet!! I also felt the watchful care of my dear Ford, staying nearby to make sure I was okay. The last time I went through this problem was 25 years ago and we were living in Oklahoma. It hit me much worse and I was down for a very long time. Ford was my main caregiver and he sacrificed a lot to be able to be with me and take care of my needs. I realized then, just how much he loved me because of the loving care he gave me and never complained. This bout only lasted 2 months, so I feel I got off pretty lucky, actually I was very blessed! The holidays were good. I spent Christmas in St. George with my daughter, Natalie, and her cute family. It was good to be part of their family Christmas traditions. They spoiled me with the gifts each of them gave me and it even snowed the day after Christmas while Natalie, Amber, and I were out doing some after Christmas shopping. It was great! I felt Ford had sent the snow for me because I was missing a white Christmas. Salt Lake area certainly had a very white Christmas and I had missed out on it. It was pretty cold in St. George, so we might as well have some snow to go with it to make it worthwhile! I spent New Year's Eve with both my sons and their families who live close to me. I spent the day with Justin, Ashley, and their 2 boys, then Jeff and Tami invited me over for dinner and a Christmas Hallmark movie I had wanted to see. I made it home by 9:00 pm and called it a night, after doing a few things around the house before I went to bed. Ford and I always struggled to stay up and ring in the new year when he was alive, so I decided I didn't need to break our New Year's Eve tradition. I was asleep when the new year arrived. One of my goals for this year is to make better use of my time and be more productive. I want to reach out and serve more in different situations, inching out of my comfort zone to do so if need be. I hope to promote my new book and find those who would benefit from my experiences. I'll see what lies in store for me with that. I'm so grateful for my many blessings; for the love I feel from my Heavenly Father and His tender mercies in my life, and for all those dear family and friends who continue to give me their love, time, and support. I couldn't make it without you!! I love and appreciate each one of you more than you know! I wish everyone a very happy, healthy, and PRODUCTIVE New Year!! May God smile down on you and shower you with His blessings! :)