New year and new growth

I decided it was time to share some of the things I have learned since my sweetheart was called home a little over a year ago. In some ways I feel I have been without him for so long, and then I realize the amount of time that has gone by and think,"Wow, I can't believe it's been over a year already." Time does soften the blow of loss, even when you don't want to hear those words, when it's still so fresh and raw. Nothing is comforting to you at that stage.

I have learned, firsthand, just how much my Heavenly Father loves me and is mindful of me. He has brought me along, a step at a time, and helped boost my self-confidence in my own abilities to do things. He has sent angels, mortal and immortal, to comfort me and lift me up when I was feeling so lost, alone, and wanting to hide from the pain I was feeling. I'm finding out I can do more than I thought I could. I have a saying posted in my kitchen which reads: "I'm STRONG, I'm SMART, I can do HARD things!" That's my new motto--to remind me I can do those things I thought may be impossible for me to tackle. With the help of the Lord and exercising faith, I can do what I need to do. We all can!
I've also learned that the veil is very thin and I have been blessed to feel Ford with me often. I feel very connected to him and know he is watching over me and his family. We were and still are, very important to him and he is nearby making sure we're doing well. We feel him at those special family moments and events when something significant happens to a child or grandchild. We know he's with us and celebrating with us. It's a wonderful thing to have this relationship with him beyond the veil.
I've been called to work as an ordinance worker in the Jordan River Temple and that has been very healing for me. I feel the spirit so strong when I'm there, and I've been promised I would also feel Ford with me, and I have! I have gained strength, insight, and knowledge with the things of eternity, just helping me realize I can and must go on. I am being prepared to be a worthy companion to my sweetheart so we can accomplish great and marvelous things together on the other side, when I finally get to be reunited with him. That definitely helps me stay focused and keep moving forward! My love for him continues to grow and I truly appreciate him and all he went through while here, to be able to stay just a little longer with his family & other loved ones. He is an amazing man! I feel so blessed to be his wife, not only for this life, but for all eternity!
I've learned what awesome children we have raised! They continue to inspire me, love me, care about me, advise me, listen to me, and just be there for me. The Lord has sent us the best of the best when it comes to our children! My love for them also continues to grow and I'm eternally grateful for their unyielding love and support of their mother. They have helped to make this transition without my husband, easier to manage. They can't take the pain away, but they help to ease the burden by their unconditional love and understanding.
My grandchildren have the ability to make me smile through my tears and make me feel so loved by them. I don't know what I'd do without them. They have been my salvation on many occasions. I'm sure they are not even aware when they have come to my rescue by showing me love, giving me a hug, sending me a letter, a text, an email, or giving me a call for whatever the reason may be, but during some of those incidents, I really needed to hear from them or to feel loved by them and they were there!
This journey is long and hard, but also enriching and spiritual. I've learned much and have much more to learn, but will continue doing the best I can because the reward at the end of this mortal life is worth all the pain and struggles I have endured. Being with the ones you love for eternity is the best reward of all! The saying,"I never said it would be easy, I only said it would be worth it!" is true indeed!
For now I'm content with where I'm at and what I'm doing with my life. I love and treasure time spent with my family, making memories together, I absolutely love working in the temple, and I so appreciate and love my friends who keep their loving arms around me as well. I am being watched over by those who are the most important to me; my Heavenly Father & Jesus Christ, my wonderful family, dear friends, and my eteranl companion, Ford! What more could I ask for, I'm truly blessed!